Extract from "The Seven Tales of Baraby Arnold" by Mrcorbett

Taken from the tale "Baraby's strangest ever conversation" in which a hungover Baraby goes for a morning wander, meeting amongst others a dog called Roger and his less than stellar owner!

It was a splendid morning, shining sun, negligible breeze and best of all not many humans about. Baraby had a quick look around to choose which way to walk and decided to go towards the greenest route, his dark mood already being lifted by the outdoor air which was permeated by the strong waft of dung from the local farmers nearby fields. "I think I’ll go take a walk to sit by the local stream, always like it there, nice and quiet like” he reassured himself as he set off in a brisk walking fashion.

The local stream was indeed a real nice spot of getaway, clean and shallow too so you could safely paddle in it in warmer months, Baraby often did this as well as skim stones too, oh and it had beautiful trees surrounding it, plenty of birdsong tweeting merrily all hours daylight and twilight and of course loadsa local Ducks. Baraby soon arrived and looked to settle at his favourite spot which was as expected empty of habitation at this hour, when suddenly the calm was invaded by shouts of “Good Boy…. Now twirl and backwards triple somersault with twist and fancy landing for daddy” Baraby sighed as he watched a large man and a tiny dog nearby and closing faster with every failed attempt at this trick attempt performance.

"Great…” tutted Baraby as he tried not to make eye contact with this ever-irascible man and his by now panting pooch who by now were in touching distance of him. "Now one last time Roger” said the man as the Dog started to take an interest in Baraby’s left leg” Roger…come away…you don’t know where he’s been” the man growled better than the bleeding Dog had ever managed to.” Perhaps he needs a rest mate?” Baraby said in his quietest tone that he was confident wouldn’t be heard.” Cheeky tramp…. he’s a fit as a butcher’s window my Roger is…. come boy one more time for daddy” Baraby ignored this unexpected reply until once more the Dog came over and this time prepared to impart some doggy fluid on Baraby’s obviously deeply attractive left leg” oy Roger” Baraby whispered to the hound” …go and do that on him…. And if his hearing is that bleeding good tell him to do that trick as well while you’re at it…. tub of lard” Baraby pushed Roger gently away, the Dog gave him a knowing if disappointed look at this rejection and did indeed return to the feet of his masters voice. ” One more time…you nearly had it on that seventieth go…you need to nail this Roger…the local TV show is tomorrow.

Roger looked up as to say well offer me some bleeding incentive then master and I will do your crappy trick, we won’t win anyway as Doris the Dachshund is competing and she always gets the nod of victory due to her extra points for technical difficulty of having virtually no legs to trick with. So for the Seventy first time the signal to start came up before Rogers ever bored and weary eyes… there must be more to life than this he moaned to himself. “Set” The man boomed, the deep echo of his voice causing fish to swim faster past, Ducks to Duck and leaves to leave the nearest tree and tumble wig waggedly onto the terribly maintained pathway.

Roger took a quick glance once more at Baraby who was making pissing gestures towards him and pointing at the man's rather porky trunk that lay just before Roger’s nozzle “Go on Rog” Baraby willed to himself, breaking out into a grin as he could sense the Dog’s willingness to rebel against this odious oaf who deep down obviously didn’t love him as Roger unconditionally did him. Roger realizing quickly in his doggy brain that he was going to be owned by a tubby git. “Go” the man boomed as Baraby watched on. Three seconds later give a take Roger landed “Good boy…you’ve got it at last…ooh…were in the money” he started to sing and bounce as he finally patted his charge and gave him a treat “Is it raining?” the man looked up above him “Funny must be a local shower as it seems to have only affected that tree above us boy” Roger looked towards Baraby and did a quick backflip” careful champ…don’t overdo it now…we have a compo to win tomorrow…come let’s get in from this rain…it’s soaking me from head to toe it is...stinging too...must be that acid rain that the news keeps harping on about” Baraby watched on as finally the two departed from the scenery, Roger doing that annoying Dog thing of stopping every few steps and looking back at Baraby. Baraby watching as the man brushed his sodden hair and then sniffed at his hand, his face a puzzled picture to Baraby’s obvious delight “Clever Dog” he mused “He’ll always have his cake and will eagerly wolf it down too…and get his deposit back!” He laughed as he once more settled into his once more peaceful spot by the brook.

"The Seven Tales of Baraby Arnold" by Mrcorbett is out on Amazon / Kindle in September 2021

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